The truth is, the single deadliest question in the world is not one that you ask, but one that is asked of you:
“How many boxes of Thin Mints would you like?”
This question, asked of me annually by my sister (on behalf of my niece), my wife’s sister (on behalf of my wife’s niece), and Arena Fitness clients (on behalf of the devil), generally results in an instantaneously blurted response:
“Fifteen!”
Followed by my eyes rolling back in my head, my face going bright red and the voice of the underworld being channeled through me as I grab the unfortunate questioner by the shirt and shriek:
“WHY? DO YOU HAVE ANY WITH YOU RIGHT NOW? BWAAHAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA!”
And then my head spins around and I spew brown, Thin Mint-colored vomit all over the room.
Thank God this only happens once a year. And because this evil question is seasonal, and ONLY because this question is seasonal, it doesn’t qualify officially as
“One of the Two Deadliest Questions in the World!”
Though it probably should. Don’t judge me. I know that during the time it took you to read what I’ve written so far, you blew through a sleeve of Girl Scout cookies. What? No? Just me? Dammit!
Fitness programs are fragile creatures, easily undone by the slightest disturbances in the Force. They can be short-circuited by last minute phone calls, kids who need lunches packed, sitting down on the couch for a minute, reruns of “Saved by the Bell.” But, in truth, they can only be undone in an environment in which the two deadliest questions in the world are allowed to exist.
So, what are the two deadliest questions in the world? They have nothing to do with who John Galt is, why caged birds sing or the sound made by one hand clapping. They are not questions that safeguard national security or the hiding place of the Holy Grail. One of them is not, “Is it safe,” being asked of you by a leering guy with dental tools. They are so much simpler, and so much more insidious. The two deadliest questions in the world are:
“Do I want to?”
“Do I feel like?”
Let me qualify that these questions are dangerous strictly in regard to your fitness training. I can imagine that they contain danger for any project or process that needs completion or requires consistency, but for the purposes of this post let us assume that the facet of your life most directly endangered by these questions is the one that deals with health and fitness; training, in particular.
Let me explain.
Advancement in fitness requires consistency and commitment, not “motivation.” That’s the good news and the bad news. Good, because it doesn’t require athleticism, elite physical prowess or unusual grace, it just requires showing up, showing up often, and showing up forever. That’s the simply stated truth. A drop of water will eventually bore a hole through rock, not by force, but by constancy. (Note: If you think I coined that phrase you’ve never read Reader’s Digest). That means that the power lies with us and is reliant upon our willingness to perpetuate constancy. The bad news is that we’d rather be doing something else, anything else.
The minute you open the door to the questions “Do I feel like,” or “Do I want to,” when it comes to training, you’ve already begun the conversation that is likely to end up with you sitting on your couch at home while everyone else sweats through the training session or class you ditched. Why? Because the answer to both of these questions is always
NO.
No, I don’t FEEL like training. I don’t WANT to train. I want to FEEL GOOD and I WANT the results gained from training, but I don’t actually feel like or want to go through the process of doing it. Training is hard. Training is challenging. Training often sucks. It’s never as fun as watching a movie or as indulgent as mowing through a pint of ice cream. It’s more beneficial, but it takes effort, it takes a bit of suffering, and we are programmed as humans for energy conservation and the avoidance of discomfort.
However, if we want a specific, positive outcome, we need to train. If we want to look a certain way, if we want to feel a certain way, if we want to perform a certain way, if we want our health to be a certain way, if we want a favorable self-image, we HAVE to train. In much the same way that we don’t want to go to work but NEED the paycheck, we have to train. In much the same way that you don’t want to go to school and study but feel that you NEED the college degree in order to advance your life, we have to train.
Everything in life that has value has to be fought for.
And the two deadliest questions in the world take the fight out of you.
They will exist in the abstract. They will float around just behind the wall of your consciousness. That’s unavoidable, that’s just human nature trying to convince you that the conservation of your effort will outweigh the value of your pursuit. But you can’t allow them into the front of the store. You can’t allow them to gain traction by bringing them into the conscious conversation in your head. Once you do that, they get their sneaky little fingernails into your resolve and begin, with vice-like potency, to pry it away from your commitment.
So, your job is just to listen and become aware of their existence. Listen. Now that you know about them, you will hear them every day about 3 hours before your scheduled training session. Push them back. Ignore them. Breathe them away. Argue with them. Do not allow them residence in your head-space, or they will lead you to inaction, lethargy, lack of accomplishment, poor health, sadness.
As my good friend, Dr. Boris Vaisman, once said:
“You will become successful in training when it becomes as automatic as brushing your teeth.”
Your job is to become automatic, and in automation, there’s no room for questions that threaten the spinning of the gears.
Jonathan Aluzas is the owner of Arena Fitness, a personal training, group training and semi private training facility with gyms in Northridge and Encino.
